I left the house last Tuesday morning looking over the kitchen counter talking to my mom.
"When it rains it pours."
From my last blog you can see that Hurricane Florence took a beating on my kitchen, so Mitchell and I have been bunkering down with my parents as our kitchen is inoperable.
So I drove onto work that Tuesday. I was on Eastwood Road. I don't even remember touching the brakes. I never saw the cars stop. I never even blinked. But I hit them at full speed. I just heard the glass shattering and I saw the smoke. I couldn't move. I screamed for someone to come carry me from my car, tears streaming down my face. A tree company happened to be driving beside me and saw the crash. They jumped into action, blocking the road. Luckily I was so close to the fire station that there was a fireman lifting me from my car as soon as I looked up.
I sat in the ambulance holding my chest. I never even saw what was left of my car. They strapped me into the stretcher as I tired to blink away streams of tears.
My sternum is broken. What a story for my first broken bone. It is more painful than anything I could have ever imagined. I am very limited in what I can do, meaning that I basically do not move off the couch or bed. Everything hurts right now. My arms are burned from the air bag explosion, and I have bruises covering my poor boobs and torso. The one time I needed my boobs for cushioning and they did squat. Thanks, boobs. But what the doctors think is that my seat belt did not catch, and I was going through the windshield when I hit the steering wheel and at that exact moment my airbags deployed, throwing me back, but breaking my sternum.
What’s even more challenging is that we flew to Houston forty eight hours later for my next wine exam. It has been difficult to say the least. I can not shower alone. I can’t brush my hair. I can’t sleep. I can’t open the door. There are so many things I should be joyful about. I’m alive. I can breathe. I have the worlds best husband. But most of the time I just want to cry. The hurricane and our house on top of this have just been too much.
I should tell you though, I passed my first sommelier exam. I did what I came to do in Houston and it was all worth it. I raised a glass of champagne for that. What an entirely different world than my other program. I throughly enjoyed it— though due to my circumstances, I will be putting my studies on hold until at the very least, the spring. School costs money and money is something I don’t have right now. — but I truly love the Court of Master Sommeliers. It’s a boys club which makes me feel like ten times the bad ass that I’m doing well.
Houston was a blast, and I felt like I was a real champ for the state I am in. We went to the Houston Zoo and Aquarium, as well as NASA during our time there.
Even better news. I was not found at fault for my accident. I looked the cop in the eye and told him it was my fault in the hospital room. Little did I know, the first car was actually hit by the second car first. Who was then hit by the third car. And to finish off the whole shabang— I slammed into the third car. It was not my fault.
I am aware that I am going through a difficult season, but it is shaping and growing my heart, and for that I am joyful. I am happy. I find this setback to just one of many, and the more that come, the less I worry. Nothing is in my own hands, and I think for the first time in my life, I am okay with that.